Being the SciFi Buff that I am I thought I had to give this a try … I really, really did try … but this is bad. No other way to say it really. The only “actor” that has any skills is good ole B5’s Bruce Boxleiter and lets be honest, he was never that great shakes was he?
/READ MORE // Book Review // OLD MAN’S WAR – JOHN SCALZI
This article originally appeared on our sister site Zone6.
So I guess, you want to know whats going on right? Well if you were expecting Transformers … you’ll be very disappointed. I know in a made for TV movie I really shouldn’t expect much, but perhaps the SciFi channel spoiled me with all of their good shows and productions. This is definitely NOT one of these … “B” Movie is the best you could call this.
The story is that when the aliens crashed in Roswell we (humans) reverse engineered their technology and used it create the modern age that we all live in now. With the technology that they put into place however, the robotic aliens are able to “activate” and transform some machines which set about destroying their human owners.
Some really stupid things happen here – the SUV randomly attacks the sheriff (Bruce) for no reason whatsoever. Then the satellite dish that had turned itself into a robot (I know!! Who writes this stuff??) randomly appears but then doesn’t do anything aside from jumping down from a building???
In a huge battle, Bruce B crashes an army helicopter into one of the activated machines and destroys it unfortunately killing himself in the process (which eliminates any acting cred this movie might have had!). Everyone thinks that its all over and that they had stopped the machines before they had sent their signal, but nope … the aliens are coming!!
Destroying all of Earths military (they don’t show how) the survivors of humanity are now forced to try and destroy the alien invasion before they steal all of Earth’s resources … OK, I can’t watch any more … this is just too too stupid. What would robots need with Earth’s water??? They come from space for crying out loud …
Yeah, I know, I feel the same way about leaving something undone. OK,I’m completing this – but it is garbage.
Anyways, the story continues that they are terraforming the whole earth to make it more “habitable” for them – (1) you can’t call it terraforming if its for machines can you?? and (2) … how do you make something more habitable for a machine!!
Well humanity has fought back, seems not all of the military was destroyed after all and have managed to take out 3 of the 9 terraforming plants around the world. However there are still quite a few left and our hero is going to take out one of them himself – by the way, the way in which they discover this detail? The Russians had captured a machine and tortured it to give up its secrets!!! How do you torture a machine for crying out loud??!! Blond boy is able to destroy one of the terraforming plants and it looks like the other forces were also able to destroy the ones they were tasked with, but destroying the terraforming plants had a side effect and the remaining humans were forced underground to survive.
The fight for survival continues and the human race will survive because they have something that the machines don’t – THE HUMAN SPIRIT. aaaaargggh!!!!!!!
I’m sorry that you had to suffer through this with me.